Violet's birth story

I can't believe 4 weeks ago we were in the hospital, getting ready to welcome our baby girl into our lives! It's about time I write down V's birth story.. It is sort of a long one and I love writing down as many details as I can remember. I don't know why I am that way, but I like to remember as much as I possibly can, well MOSTLY everything haha.

It all started the 22 of May when I had my 38 week appt. I went in and my doctor examined me and told me I was already 2 cm dilated! I secretly hoped I was because I had been having contractions for a few weeks and was wondering if there was any progress. So I thought for sure within the week we would meet our little one. NOTHING! The 25 of May came, the day of my best friends bridal shower. I did not feel very good and was having contractions at her shower. The next day I lost my mucus plug and thought that labor would be starting within the next 24-48 hours. Well, the 28th came and NO labor but I had the "show" (tmi sorry). So I just KNEW labor would start within 1-2 days for SURE! Well 2 days came and went so I scheduled an apt to be seen, to see if I had progressed any. So on the 31s of May at about 9am, I went in and was at a 2 1/2cm so I had her scrape my membranes. At this point I was so ready to get this baby out!

That day I was walking like CRAZY and was doing squats and sitting on my birthing ball. That night Jesse and I went to chipotle and I got a quesadilla with hot sauce to try to get this thing started. Still NOTHING. We came home, watched a little of the voice and went to bed. At about 2am Saturday morning I started getting much stronger contractions. They were much more consistent and about 20 minutes apart. Of course I couldn't sleep because I was hoping this meant baby was on its way. So all day I was in early labor. As the day progressed they started getting more painful but not consistently close together. I tried to rest but then I would think, I need to get this thing going so I would get up and go on the birthing ball or do stretches or go on a walk. So needless to say I didn't sleep at all.

By that night I told Jesse to try and get some sleep because who knew what would happen. I tried to get last minute things done and Jesse packed up the car because we thought it would most likely be tonight. So at about 1 am I told Jesse it was time to go. That car ride was pretty painful, I turned on our wedding cd to try to calm me but I couldn't wait to get to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital at about 2am we parked and walked in, another car pulled up with a woman basically screaming and breathing hard core and even though we got there first they took her in before me because she was making a huge seen and I seemed calm enough. They took us into the room to examine me and the doctor who came in was a HUGE douche. He measured me at a 3 80% effaced I think and told me he would be back in 2 hours to check me again. Well he never came back. The nurse called him after an hour to examine me again because I was in a good bit of pain. But he said no and then she couldn't find him again. So about 2 1/2-3 hours later a doctor came in examined me and said I was at a 4-41/2. I told them I wanted an epidural so they admitted me and got me ready for the epi. It was a piece of cake. I am not afraid of needles though, so that might have been why it was no biggy.

So at about 5:30 I got the epidural and knew it would just be a waiting game. They checked me again and I wasn't progressing so they gave me the option of starting Pitocin or breaking my water. I decided to break my water because I didn't really want to go on Pitocin. So they broke my water at 10:30 am. NOTHING. So they started me on Pitocin at 1pm and after the initial dose I went to a 5. At 2pm I was a stretchy 5 to a 7 cm dilated 90% effaced. At that point she said she felt a little bit of hair. I loved my midwife at that point. They kept trying to get my contractions to move faster and more consistent. So they would up my dose of Pitocin and then they would get too close together so they would slow it down. At one point they were going to stick an internal contraction reader thing in me to see what was really happening because it wasn't progressing.

Well later that night around 8pm I got a fever. They told me if it gets up past a certain point the baby would automatically have to go to the nicu. I didn't think that would happen so I just tried to relax. The nurse kept checking my temp and it finally got up to 102 so they said for sure that would happen and I wouldn't be able to do the first feed with my baby or really "bond" with her. I immediately started crying. I felt like it was my fault and baby was such a trooper. The nurses kept commenting on how well and happy the baby had been ALL day. I was really upset and they told me that I got a uterine infection and that I needed to go on antibiotics right away and that the baby would have to when he or she was born.

At about 11 pm it was time to push, even though I was at a 0 - +1 station not generally the station you start pushing at I later found out. You usually start pushing when you see the head at a +2 or +3. So I started pushing and NO ONE told me what to do and no one counted for me. The nurse was delivering our baby and the midwife was no where to be found. Jesse counted the whole time for me while my mom got me water and cold compresses for my forehead. The nurse would wander the room and go on the computer like nothing was going on. I now realize I shouldn't have been pushing yet and she didn't need to be watching because baby wasn't far enough down.

Then once Violet's head was crowning she kept bobbing out and then going back in. She didn't want to come out! She was such a trooper though. I was yelling to the nurse for her to watch while I pushed to see if I was even doing it right. And to tell me when I should be pushing. Because she didn't even tell me when to start! It was crazy. At this point I was feeling my contractions and could guess when I should be pushing, but I didn't really feel like it was my job! My epidural also didn't work when I was pushing. I don't know if it was because I got it so early that it was wearing off by then or if because when your body is in that much pain nothing can numb it. But I could feel EVERYTHING! They kept stretching me out like crazy and I could feel every pull, and tug, and stretching. I could feel all the pressure of her 13 1/2'' head! And the position of her head was causing my left hip agony. That I kept having to move my leg around and get it in a position where I could keep pushing. Jesse massaged it while I was basically passing out in between contractions. I had no idea what was going on around me. All I remember was wanting them to slice me open with no anesthesia and pull her out that way. I thought it would be less painful than what I was feeling.

After 3 hours of continual pushing V was born. My eyes were closed and I was passed out on the bed. The only thing I heard was crying and Jesse say, "It's a girl, Faith." I opened my eyes and immediately burst into uncontrollable tears. She was so beautiful and perfect and a GIRL! They laid her on my chest and I just kept crying and saying she is so beautiful, omg! She stopped crying and I stopped crying and we just looked at each other. Something I won't forget, its like she knew me and she heard our voices and just looked at us with her curious eyes. It was such an incredible experience. Jesse then looked at me and said, "Is this baby Violet?"  She definitely looks like a Violet!! :)

They took her and Jesse went with her to the nicu, where they gave her her first bath and weighed and measured her. 8lbs 21 1/4'' long. I could tell when they put her on my chest she wasn't a skinny small baby but I was surprised at her measurements! At the end of pregnancy I felt her really low and really high, but I thought it was just because I have a short torso. NO wonder I was so uncomfortable in the end. HAHA After about an hour or two Jesse came to get me and we went down to the nicu to see our baby girl. How hard it was to see her pricked with needles and an IV but she did so well and was such a strong girl. Her platelet levels were very low and they thought they might have to do a transfusion. There were lots of tears those first few days. Worrying about everything and feeling guilty if I wasn't down in the nicu with her. Trying to pump and get the milk down to her even though the nicu was feeding her formula like crazy! :(

She was such a strong girl, I can't imagine being in the birthing canal for 3 hours. She never gave us any reason to worry! We were able to take her home on our anniversary. And what a great anniversary gift! Once we got her home I definitely got the blues. I was super hormonal up and down. Such a major life change and trying to produce enough milk for this baby that was completely over fed in the nicu was really hard on me emotionally feeling like I wasn't doing enough for her.

She still doesn't want to latch and is having a hard time swallowing and breathing. I think birth was pretty traumatic and they say that adds to baby's not sucking or swallowing properly. We see a speech therapist on Wednesday so hopefully she will help us to get V in better shape when she eats. I will try and upload some pics a little later! This is a crazy long post I know, I just want to remember as much as possible.

I love my baby girl! She really is such a good baby, even though the lack of sleep is really hard especially with having cfs. I can't help but smile when I see her and I find myself getting antsy for her to wake up so I can hold her and kiss her and snuggle her. She loves her swing and she LOVES stretching out and she loves bath time. If she is crying, she calms down immediately if we bounce on the birthing ball or turn on the water faucet. She makes the cutest sounds and grunts. She is starting to coo and be more vocal. She smiles when she sleeps and has hiccups a lot still! She gets "undertaker" eyes when she sleeps where they roll in the back of her head and sometimes sleeps with them part open like mommy. She looks so much like her dad and I am so happy about that! I have always loved when little girls look like their dad. We love her so much and cant believe she is ours. We call her our miracle baby and she definitely is!